In The MorningJanuary 8, 2008
It's a new year and another chance to hit the reset button -- to make promises, resolutions and expectations. I've never been much for resolutions. I've tried, but it's always seemed like more of a device to catalize change rather than a profound shift in thinking that makes a real change --- like going on a diet vs. changing the way you eat. I am however guilty of lofty goal setting, though rarely do I recognize this at a conscious level and I don't think I reserve this activity for New Years.
It seems that for much of my life I have always wanted to be somewhere that I am not. I had a profound experience the other morning when I was in the shower. It was the morning after my last show at Eddie's Attic and I was washing my (thinning) hair and going through a play by play of the whole night and slowly beginning to pick the entire thing apart. First of all, if you did not make the show, I think it was a good one. The place was sold out and the band I was blessed with included Kevin Leahy, John Willingham and Charles Williams -- all stellar musicians. Anyway, I was doing the post-mordem deconstruction that I have done for as long as I have been playing shows and it suddenly hit me: "stop. you have arrived."
Don't get me wrong, or think I'm delusional. I know playing a sold-out show at a venue that only holds about 150 people is not Madison Square Garden and the cover of Rolling Stone, but to me it was a goal that I set long ago, finally reached and here I was prepared to blow right past it on to the next thing without so much as a nod or a check-that-one-off-the-list feeling. I washed the shampoo out of my hair, smiled and thought back to the very instant several years ago when I gave up playing music as a vocation so I could persue something that would keep me at home and feed my family that I made a wish that was something like this: "If I could just play a show once every couple of months for a hundred people who want to be there and make enough money to pay a good band, I would be happy."
In that spirit, I wanted to post a video of a new song appropriately called "In the Morning" that we performed at the show. It's far from high-fidelity, but there is a magical quality to the first time a song has ever been played in public and the vibe that the band brought to it was perfect.